Family law clients come to attorneys at some of the most difficult moments of their lives. A divorce client may be devastated, furious, or terrified about their financial future. A custody client may be genuinely afraid for their children's safety. A client seeking a domestic violence protective order may be in immediate danger.
The intake process for family law matters must be thoughtful in a way that transactional practice areas don't require. You're not just collecting information — you're establishing a relationship with someone who is in crisis. How you handle this moment matters.
The Dual Purpose of Family Law Intake
Family law intake serves two purposes simultaneously:
Informational: You need specific facts to evaluate the matter, run a conflict check, and prepare for the consultation. Marriage date, children's names and ages, asset overview, any prior legal proceedings.
Relational: You need to establish enough trust that the client will share the full picture — including the facts that don't reflect well on them, the details they're embarrassed about, and the concerns they haven't fully articulated even to themselves.
A family law intake process that's purely transactional — fill out this form, list your assets — misses the relational dimension. Clients who don't trust you with their full story are harder to represent effectively.
What to Collect in a Family Law Intake Questionnaire
Basic Identification
- Full legal name of client
- Date of birth
- Current address (note: for safety reasons, be thoughtful about how this is stored and shared in domestic violence situations)
- Contact preferences (some clients don't want calls to their home number)
Marriage Information
- Date and place of marriage
- Whether this is a legal marriage or domestic partnership
- Date of separation (if separated) — important for property division calculations in many states
- Whether either party has filed for divorce or legal separation
- Whether either party has filed for divorce before in this or another state
Children
For each child:
- Full name and date of birth
- Current primary residence
- Current school/daycare
- Any special needs, medical conditions, or therapy
- Father's full name (not always the same as client's spouse)
- Whether any children are from prior relationships
The Other Party
- Full name of spouse/partner (needed for conflict check)
- Their attorney, if represented
- Whether they have been served or are aware of the legal proceedings
- Any protective orders in place
Prior Legal Proceedings
- Any prior divorce, custody, or support proceedings in this state or others
- Current child support or alimony orders
- Any prior protective orders or restraining orders
- Any criminal history involving the parties or relevant to custody
Assets Overview
For property division purposes, you need a general overview:
- Real property owned (home, investment properties, vacation property)
- General financial picture (not exact amounts — that comes later)
- Business interests
- Retirement accounts
- Significant debts
- Whether there is a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement
Current Living Situation
- Who currently lives in the marital home?
- Are the children with the client?
- Has either party left the marital residence?
Safety Information
This section requires special care:
- Is there a history of domestic violence, threats, or intimidation?
- Is the client currently safe?
- Are there concerns about the children's safety?
- Does the other party know the client is seeking legal counsel?
For clients experiencing domestic violence, the intake process should include clear information about resources — local DV hotlines, shelter information, safety planning — regardless of whether those resources end up being needed.
The Intake Experience for Family Law Clients
Tone Matters
The language of your intake questionnaire communicates your firm's approach. "Please list any acts of domestic violence that have occurred" is clinical. "Has there been any physical violence, threats, or controlling behavior that affects your safety or the children's safety?" is human.
Both collect the same information. Only one conveys that you understand what the client might be going through.
Don't Ask Too Much Upfront
Family law intake forms can be overwhelming if they try to collect everything at once. Consider a two-phase approach:
Phase 1 (pre-consultation): Contact information, basic case facts, conflict check information. Keep it to 10–15 minutes.
Phase 2 (after consultation/during engagement): Detailed financial information, complete asset inventory, supporting documents. This can be collected over time with better completeness.
Clients who are emotionally overwhelmed will abandon long intake forms. A shorter pre-consultation form gets the information you need for the consultation; a detailed follow-up collects the rest.
Acknowledge the Emotional Weight
A brief note in the intake questionnaire can go a long way: "We know this is a difficult time, and these questions may feel overwhelming. You don't need to have all the answers right now — that's what our consultation is for. Just fill in what you know, and we'll work through the rest together."
This sets a collaborative, supportive tone from the very beginning.
Conflict-of-Interest Considerations in Family Law
Family law conflict checks require more care than most practice areas. You need to check:
- The full name of the spouse/opposing party
- The full names of any prior spouses (past representation in divorce)
- The full names of any business partners whose business assets are at issue
- Any other attorneys or parties named in the matter
Because family matters often involve extended family disputes, property co-owners, and business entanglements, run thorough checks before proceeding.
Also: if you've previously represented the spouse in any matter — even a transactional one — you likely have a conflict. This issue arises frequently in communities with a limited number of family law attorneys.
Safety Protocols for Domestic Violence Situations
When your intake reveals potential domestic violence:
Screening: Ask directly, in your intake form and in the consultation, whether the client has experienced violence or fears for their safety. Many clients won't volunteer this information unless directly asked.
Communication security: Ask how you can safely contact the client. Can you call their cell? Their home phone? Email? Some clients in dangerous situations have specific constraints on how they can be reached.
Document requests: If you ask clients to gather documents (bank statements, tax returns, etc.), be aware that unusual document activity can alert an abusive spouse. Give guidance on how to gather documents safely.
Emergency contacts: Collect an emergency contact who can reach the client if usual communication methods fail.
Referrals: Know your local DV resources (shelters, hotlines, advocacy organizations) and provide them proactively to any client who indicates safety concerns.
Using Intake Data in the Consultation
A well-completed family law intake form allows you to walk into the consultation prepared:
- You know the basic facts of the marriage and the children's situation
- You've already run a conflict check
- You have an initial picture of the asset landscape
- You know if there are safety concerns to address first
- You can focus the consultation on strategy and legal advice, not on collecting basic facts
This preparation signals competence and makes the consultation more efficient and valuable for the client.
Family Law Intake Checklist
Before the consultation:
- Full legal names of client and spouse (for conflict check)
- Basic case type (divorce, custody, modification, protective order, etc.)
- Children's names and ages
- Whether prior legal proceedings exist
- Safety screening completed
- Conflict check run
After decision to engage:
- Detailed asset and liability information
- Financial account information
- Property information
- Copies of any existing orders or prior filings
- Tax returns and income information
MatterFlow supports family law firms with customizable intake questionnaires that can be tailored to specific matter types and sensitive subjects. Learn more at matterflowlegal.com.